The one when I stuck my foot in my mouth.

When I was in high school, I once made a comment to a fellow student about a teacher that we shared in one of our classes. I loved this teacher. I respected her and learned a lot from her, so I'm not really sure why I felt compelled to say something disparaging about her. But I did. And I immediately regretted it when the student to whom I was speaking said,

"Ummm, she's my aunt."

Aaannndddd... I'm an idiot.

I felt horrible.... not just because I'd been caught, so to speak, by someone who was willing to stand up and defend a family member, but because I'd thought it alright to say something so rude in the first place. Would my comment have been any less hurtful if it had been heard by a different group of classmates... ones that weren't related to the victim of my callousness and thus entertained by my so called "witty" insult? Perhaps my insult would have been even more damaging, with the added risk of further repetition and circulation.

After recovering from the blush of all blushes, I profusely apologized. The girl accepted, and we, through several years of shared classes formed a respectable acquaintance. I've often wondered though, if, from her perspective, there wasn't always some small smudge on the corner of my character, left over from my moment of poor judgment and inconsideration.

My husband has heightened my sensitivity to the evils of speaking negatively about others. He simply doesn't do it. And, by quiet example, encourages others (mostly me) to look for the good in others, to be tolerant of different circumstances, and to simply put, hold one's tongue when the urge arises to slander another. Because really, what good does it do?

I believe that for the most part, people, though different in so many ways, are generally good. I believe that most people do the very best they can with the set of circumstances that they've been given... with the knowledge, know-how and history that they carry down their own very unique path. The hard part, is that sometimes, the very best that some people can do still sucks. Because this world, and all that comes with life is really hard and really tough and some people have been through a lot of, well... crap. I imagine it certainly doesn't help to beat them down with rudeness... even rudeness spoken beyond their hearing. Though they may not hear it, I bet they feel the lack of kindness in the attitudes of those judging them.

So, here's to not judging... to tolerance, to patience, to lifting and helping those around us, and to shutting our mouths when any unkindness dares to slip out.