Communication Frustration Disorder.

It's a real condition. Really, it is. Henry is currently serving as a full scale clinical study to justify it, then I'm going to write up a report and send it in to the "please help me, I'm crazy" doctors so they have a name for what they're going to be treating me for!

I love my 2 year old. I love ever fiber of his popsicle loving body. But if he says this... "nnnnnntttt. sssssssss." one more time, while expecting me to know exactly what it is that he wants, I'm going to pull all my hair out.

Things run smoothly as long as he wants fish, juice, bubbles, or Dora. Outside of that, I have no idea what he's talking about. So he comes over, taps me on the leg, saying "Mama, Mama, Mama," like it's the most urgent thing in the world.

I say, "What is it Henry?"

He says, "nnnnnntttttt.ssssssssss."

I think it's some form of "I want this" except I have no idea what "this" actually is. So we run through the list...

Do you want milk? NOOO.
Do you want to play? NOOOO.
Do you want a snack? NOOOO!!.

The longer I take to guess the right thing, the more frustrated he gets. Sometimes, if I offer him my hand and say, "Show me," he'll walk me to whatever area of the house best serves his interests - the kitchen, the playroom, the television. But it isn't a foolproof system. And I've noticed that sometimes his desired outcome changes in mid-process. He may not want a snack the first time I ask, but when we've run through every other option ten times, and he's forgotten what it is he wanted in the first place, a snack starts to seem pretty good!

This morning, it took twenty minutes to figure out he wanted the lid off the box of train tracks. Oh dear. Just start talking already!

Henry is absolutely the laziest of my talkers. Jordan was speaking in sentences by the time he turned 2, and Sam and Lucy weren't far behind. But Henry has three siblings who cater to his every need. He has a sister that is CONSTANTLY checking on him, getting him what he needs, asking him a thousand questions a day about what he wants and doesn't want. Why on earth would he bother himself with talking? You know, since it takes effort and all. I'm convinced it isn't actually that he doesn't know the words for things. He knows them all. He's just lazy.

And in the meantime, his Mommy is stark raving crazy!