You know you're a redneck...

when your kids turn a wheelbarrow into a wading pool. I'm serious. They took turns climbing in and sinking themselves chest deep in cold water straight from the garden hose, while the other two held the handles to make sure the wheelbarrow didn't tip over.

(right here is where I would put a picture of my kids swimming in the wheelbarrow. If I had a camera.)

The kids wanted me to play in the water with them and kept insisting I put on my swim suit as well. I kept insisting that I was MUCH too big for the wheelbarrow, but they persisted, letting me know I could just hold one of the handles.

Thanks, kids!

So I put on my swimsuit. What can I say. I like to make my kids happy.

I wore some cropped yoga pants over my swimsuit, cause, you know, not just anybody can enjoy the goodness that is my glowing white, lower gadonkidonkiness. This the children did not understand. They kept asking why I didn't just take them off.

Huh. You grow up and have four kids and then see how you feel about taking off your pants.

Later that afternoon, we were all sitting on the back deck enjoying even more sunshine while I gave myself and Lucy a French tip manicure and pedicure.

(right here is where I would post a picture of my manicure. You would not believe how ridiculous perfect a manicure looks when a five year old helps! IF I had a camera.)

So, I'm painting Lucy's fingernails and I ask her to put her hand on my leg so it's easier for me to paint her last three fingers.

She says, "Where? Here on your BIG, FAT leg?"

Oh, no she did NOT just say that.

"I do not have a big fat leg," I lied replied.

"Yes you do," she said. "Look right there. It's big, and fat."

Jordan was listening, and obviously felt it was time he come to my rescue.

"Lucy. Even though it's true, that's not the kind of thing you say out loud. It might hurt Mommy's feelings."

Well aren't you just my night in shining armor.

Excuse me while I go do squats for the rest of my life.