Big news that I'm not telling anyone.

So, I know you all know how much of a private person I am. I mean, it's obvious from my blog that I'm not really comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings with others. I much prefer keeping things to myself...

What. That doesn't sound like me? You think I seem more like the kind of person that absolutely can't stop talking about any and all things, that shares the details of my life like water pouring from a garden hose in the middle of June?

Okay. You're right. I'm not good at secrets. Not YOUR secrets. If there's something you don't want me to tell, I won't. Promise. But my own secrets? My mouth doth run amuck far too often for me to ever keep a secret about myself.

See, we have this news in our family, but I decided I probably wasn't going to tell anyone right away. But then, I told my Mom, of course, cause, well, she's my Mom. I'm pretty sure she told a few people, but only the people that are really like family, so they don't actually count. And I told my sister, cause she's pretty much the other half of my brain, and my brothers too.

Then Josh told a few people at work. And while having a casual conversation with a friend in the hallway at church, the subject came up, and since it felt silly to talk about this particular subject without mentioning my own news, I told my friend. And then I told a few other friends that I thought might be interested to know.

Then Lucy, in unfettered excitement, blurted out the secret in the middle of church, just loud enough for three rows of parishioners to hear. See what I mean? I am obviously secret impaired.

The thing is, this secret is kind of a big deal. Because five kids? It's a lot.

(Oh shut up. You know that's what you've been thinking this whole time.)

Five kids. I keep saying it over and over in my head. Then I swear at the little voice that follows up in a tiny whisper, "Five... or six."

It's not six. Two sets of twins in one family? It can't happen all that much. But could it? Sam and Lucy were one hundred percent spontaneously delightful, all because my body decided to make two, twins. Once you've had a set of twins, the likelihood of having another set more than doubles. Or so they say.

To add to those already a little frightening odds, Henry had a vanishing twin. I didn't know it until after the fact, but my pregnancy with Henry started out as two babies. By eight weeks or so, one had simply stopped developing. I remember laying there on the ultrasound table at my first appointment and being sad, in a way, to find out there had been one, that wasn't anymore. But I was also relieved. Twins twice in a row would have been tough. Henry was developing normally, was healthy and strong, and turned out to be exactly what I needed at the time.

But now? I'll go in for my first doctor's appointment in a few weeks, and will be nervous until then, wondering this time if it could also be two. I try not to think about it too much. I mean, seriously. What do you drive when you have FIVE car seats, plus one more kid in tow? That's even pushing the limits of my minivan.

Be it one, or two... I am so stinkin excited. It's what I want. We're ready. I'm happy.

So now you know. Keep it quiet though, okay? Cause you know, I'm not really telling anyone. :)