I was folding laundry tonight. Standing up behind the kitchen table folding and folding and folding. It had been a day. Not a bad day, but a busy day. A day of leftover Sunday dishes and vacuuming and mopping and laundering and invasive species science projects and fractions and parts of speech.
Generally, when I fold laundry, I listen to music or watch a movie to pass the time. But tonight, I folded in silence. I thought a little and prayed a little and allowed my mind to wander as it would. I won't go so far as to say I enjoyed it. It was still laundry. But the process of doing something necessary was a bit more peaceful because of the silence.
Sometimes, it feels good just to be still.
Do you know what I thought about while I folded? I thought about Jesus' admonition in Matthew to become as little children. Why children? The scriptures tell us that children are meek and mild and humble. But do you know what else little children do? They forgive.
It's amazing, really. Amazing that these little people who live in my home are always so willing to wrap their arms around their grossly imperfect mother who has yelled or ignored or forgotten and just love me anyway. I don't deserve such Christ-like love, and yet they so freely give it. In spite of all of my short comings, in spite of all the times I've failed in my efforts as a Mom, they still love me completely. I want to be more like them. I want to be unconditional. I want to love and give and forgive readily, constantly.
It weighs on me most when I look at Lucy. Lucy - this perfect little person who is so good and so strong and who wants nothing more in this world than to be just like me. ME. But she is so much better than me. I can see that already. And so I want to be better - better for the little girl that watches me so close, and for her baby sister who will grow up watching us both.
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