My boyfriend is walkin' on thin ice.

So, Henry is totally my boyfriend right now. He has mastered the art of flirting with me, and I think, feels pretty confident in his ability to have his mother eating directly out his tiny little hand. He snuggles at just the right moment, he waves and kisses exactly when I need him too. And those eyes... oh, how I love those lovely, chocolatey eyes. I tell you what though... today, my boyfriend was walking on some thin ice.

Just before leaving to pick up Jordan from school, I called Henry upstairs so I could put some clothes on him. Yes. He was naked. Isn't your two year old?

So, I lay him down to strap on a diaper and notice that his hands are wet. Cold and wet. Which is a very dangerous combination if you know anything about two year olds. So I ask him,

"Henry, were you playing in the toilet?"

He smiles really big. "Yeah!!"

Oh dear. So I run downstairs to my bathroom to see what kind of damage has been done. It was bad. Very, very bad. The floor was soaked, the rugs were soaked, and water was still dripping over the side of the toilet, because with an entire roll of toilet paper INSIDE the bowl, the water didn't really have anywhere else to go.

Drastic times call for drastic measures... and an inch of water on the floor of a brand new house definitely qualifies as drastic. So I stuck my hand in the toilet to pull out whatever I could, in hopes of creating a bit more flow. The toilet was clean (thanks Josh) and hadn't recently been used, but still. Hands don't belong down there. At all.

At this point, I'm already thoroughly disgusted. But the water is now draining as it should be, and the toilet is no longer clogged, so I'm at least making progress in the right direction.

Then the dog comes in and starts lapping up the water from the floor. When I shoo her away because, you know, drinking toilet water off the floor is just gross, even if you are a dog, she takes off out of the bathroom and tracks little toilet water paw prints all over the rest of my house. Awesome.

Then Henry comes in and starts laughing as he jumps up and down in the puddles of water still on the floor. Even MORE awesome.

What really just made it the best experience ever was reaching behind the toilet to dry up the water and accidentally not even a little on purpose brushing my cheek up against the toilet brush, leaving a lovely wet smear on my cheek of I don't even care to think of what. It made me die a little inside. And then maybe I started to cry.

I love two year olds.

Really. I do.