Bleh.

Sick.

Do you hear me people?! I don't ever remember feeling this horrible. But then, if we remembered, we would never have anymore kids, would we? Right now, I'm officially in the "Really?! I did this on purpose?" phase of pregnancy. I think it is wickedly ironic that the only thing that makes me feel not sick is eating, and yet, the thing that makes me feel the sickest is the thought... of eating. The only thing that I can eat without wanting to barf is a chicken ranchero soft taco, from, brace yourself... Taco Bell. I'm not generally a fan of Taco Bell, but the past few days? I've been there more than once. And it's made me happy. I will probably go again tomorrow. Because you know, even taco bell calories are better than no calories at all. And they have Pepsi. Which, in my lack of consuming anything else, also makes me happy.

In past pregnancies, I generally wake up, throw up, then feel better enough to get on with life. This time? I wake up, throw up, then throw up again two hours later, then again, two hours after that. And when I'm not throwing up, I feel like doing it. ALL THE TIME.

I don't think it's ever been this bad before. Josh insists it was this bad when I was pregnant with the twins. He says that he remembers little from my early months of twin pregnancy that didn't involve the hall bathroom of my parents house. (That's where we were living at the time. My parents house, not just their hall bathroom. But I DID spend a lot of time in that bathroom. I tell you what... nothing makes you shake in your boots like living with your parents while husband looks for a job and you gestate two babies at once, having no idea what your future will hold. But that's a story for another post. Obviously, things worked out okay.)

So. Maybe it is twins and the rest of my life will be complete and total chaos, or maybe I'm just a big wimp and taking care of four other kids makes being pregnant seem a lot harder this time around. I vote for that one.

I go to the doctor next Tuesday. I'll know more then, and I will most assuredly have a prescription for whatever the miracle drug is that makes early pregnancy tolerable. It seems to be all the rage these days. And yet... I'm still not sure I'll take it. I don't like taking drugs. Even not pregnant, I don't like it, so I tend to be even more cautious when baby could be affected as well. I mean, I get it if you are dehydrated... not eating anything, not able to get out of bed. What choice do you have but to take something? But, as long as Taco Bell stays open, I'll at least be consuming something. Is it worth the risk to take meds? Is it even a risk? I have no idea. I've never been given the option in previous pregnancies. I'd love to know what you all think.

PS. I'm also open to any and all suggestions about how to keep myself from being morning sick... as long as you don't tell me to eat crackers before I get out of bed in the morning. I promise I've tried it. All it accomplishes is that the first time I hurl, I hurl crackers. So. Advice welcome. Just not that advice. Thank you for understanding.