To my Google Searchers...

Oh, how entertaining Google Analytics can be. And slightly disturbing. See, sometimes, when people search random topics, for whatever reason, the Google gods will land them on my little ole' blog. When several of the same searches start to show up on my Google analytics keyword list, I start to feel bad if the information people are coming for isn't actually on the blog.

So today, I address those random searchers. Perhaps I can provide an answer for someone and make their day just a little bit happier.

Question 1: Should I do cartwheels pregnant?"

Um, please don't. You really could hurt yourself. Or your baby. Pregnancy is the time to be absolutely lazy WITH a justifiable excuse. Why exert yourself at all? I say, forget about cartwheels, go get yourself some root beer, put your feet up on your coffee table, and spend the next nine months watching American Idol Rewind. If anyone accuses you of being lazy, remind them that you are gestating. And that is hard work. No cartwheels necessary.

Question 2: What is fodder?

Well, uh, if you're curious about agriculture, according to Wikipedia, fodder is "any foodstuff that is used specifically to feed domesticated livestock." The word has other uses though... cannon fodder is a military term that refers to anyone considered expendable. It's kind of a disturbing implication, that someone can be "food" for the cannons, but essentially, that's what it means. And blog fodder? It makes sense that it would be "food" for the blog - anything that inspires you to fill the pages of the internet with your very own words. (like the litany of ridiculous questions I've come across on Google analytics... DEFINITE blog fodder.)

Question 3: Is Clay Aiken Mormon?

I've answered this question before. But just in case the answer is lost in my archives... Um, no. He's a gay man who just had a baby with his 50 year old female record producer. Not your uh, typical Mormon lifestyle, I don't think.

Question 4: Should I go to my ten year reunion pregnant?

Absolutely. What better way to indicate that you are REALLY enjoying life?

And finally, Question 5: Why does Paz call his mother Big Penguin?

I have no earthly idea. This has always been disturbing to me as well. And while we're discussing the weirdness of it all, is Pappy the grandpa? the Dad? We could also discuss the lack of parental presence in "Max and Ruby". It's no wonder she's always annoyed with her brother. She spends her entire life babysitting. You know, Dora the Explorer makes me totally insane, but at least she's got a Mom and a Dad.

Have you had any weird Google searches lately?