Mommy Snarketh Not.

I'm sorry, were you looking for funny? Cause around these parts, I've plum run out.

In the past, all I've ever actually claimed is that I TRY to be funny. Whether or not it works is beside the point.

The problem is that here lately, I don't even have the motivation to try. And yet, I am Mommy Snark. The name alone implies there out to be something every now and again that at least makes you smile.

But I got nothing.

I'm thinking maybe it's because I stopped shopping at WalMart. Well wait. That's not entirely true. When I need batteries or Hollywood Stars Liver Treats or a fourteenth pair of yoga pants, I go to WalMart. But I don't buy groceries there so my trips are limited. Instead, I shop at one of those stone age grocery stores... you know, the kind that only carries food? Overall, I'm pretty sure I spend more on groceries. But, I spend less on things like garden hoses. And yoga pants. In the end, it all balances out.

The POINT is, shopping at WalMart all the time gives you lots of funny blog fodder. When my twins were still small, I frequented the store much more than is healthy... convenience and what not. For small trips, I would shop into the bottom bin of my double stroller.(SO much easier than a shopping cart. Even though I occasionally had to convince employees I wasn't actually trying to steal food.) So I pushed the double stroller into the dairy section and a WalMart employee looked up and said, "HEY! It's the WalMart twins!"

I wish I were kidding. Was I really there that much?!

Yes. Yes I was.

But not anymore. Overall my life is better. Even though I think the blog is suffering a bit.

In other nearly funny news, I hear Avatar is out on DVD. I still haven't seen it. Josh and I tried a few months back when it was still in the theaters. We'd had dinner a few towns over at this great little restaurant and wanted to finish our date with the three dimensional spectacle that everyone was talking about. We found the theater and tried to buy tickets, but much to our dismay...

"That there movie's done been sold out."

So, I live in the south. I've always lived here. And yet, I still find myself surprised by just how southern some people can sound. No, I take that back. This wasn't just southern. This was complete and total redneck. He was nice about it, though. The ticket guy. Even if his English was a little lame.

As we walked back to the car, totally bummed that we'd skipped dessert in order to make the movie on time, Josh looked at me and in a voice that would make Jeff Foxworthy proud said, "Dude. That there blue movie's done been sold out." In the moment, it was hilarious. And it's still hilarious every time Josh asks me if I'd like to go see "that there blue movie."

(And the unfunniness abounds...)

So, I promise to keep searching for my funny. Maybe I'll ask Sam if I can borrow his. In the car today, he let everyone know that HE'S the funny one in this family. Lucy immediately quipped, "Well then. Why don't you make us laugh!" The ensuing round of knock knock jokes did make us laugh. Especially when Henry told the interrupting cow joke. Except his cow doesn't interrupt. It waits politely until your done speaking, THEN moos. Which sort of defeats the purpose of the joke. But since he's three, and totally adorable, and says innarupping instead of interrupting, he absolutely gets away with it. And we all laugh anyway. Wouldn't you?