Oh, the nerve...

When I was pregnant with my fourth baby, I took a bag of clothes to a donation center in town. This very sweet, very southern woman looked at my minivan full of children and my swollen pregnant belly and said, "Haven't you figured out what causes that yet?!"

I stared at this woman, thinking she must have been under a rock somewhere when the world was teaching decent etiquette. I mean, really! Surely she was just trying to be funny... by implying that any sane woman would never intentionally have as many children as I do, so, since I have four I must be totally ignorant and not realize that children don't actually spontaneously appear in one's womb, you actually have to put them there by having sex. Really?!! I had no idea.

In one of those rare moments where your wit actually catches up with the situation, rather than showing up just after you've walked away, I looked at the woman, smiled sweetly and said,

"Yeah, I do know what causes it, but if you could see my husband, you would understand why I can't stop."

Well then. She asked for it, didn't she?