When my oldest son, Jordan, was 18 months old, my entire family flew out to Arizona to meet my brother's new baby. It was early in the morning and the airport was nearly deserted. My dad decided to go for a walk down the empty terminal. Jordan wanted to go along. Grandpa and grandson walked off together.
I looked up and watched the two of them walk away. My Dad, tall and strong, walking with a peace and surety that only comes from many years life experience; and Jordan, so small and unsure, certain only in his unwavering desire to echo the man beside him.
I wonder if we can really know the impact we have on the tiny lives around us. We get angry, we judge others, we curse under our breath. We give a hug, we help others, we say a kind word. All the while, our children watch. Be it good or bad, we are their examples. When Jordan was 4, he was standing at the window, waiting for his Daddy to come home from work. I walked by and heard him mutter under his breath, "Where are you? I'm so angry that you're not home yet!" His tone was identical to mine and I knew that those were my words; words that I probably assumed he hadn't heard. Yet, here he was repeating them.
Experts say character and moral structure is mostly defined by the time a child is 6 years old. It's a wonder we parents don't all crawl under our beds and hide from such a responsibility. Surely I'm not the only parent that lies awake at night worrying about the character of a child that loves hitting and refuses to share. Do we teach them enough to make a difference? When there seems to be so much in this world against goodness... is it enough?
Having said that, I'm not giving up. I still see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think of my son Jordan trying to walk just like his Grandpa and realize there isn't a better man for him to pattern his life after. I think of the times I've heard Jordan offer comfort to his brother and sister, often repeating words he's heard me say; this time, words of love and comfort. I can't guarantee that there won't ever be anything bad that passes from me to my children, and I can't always protect them from the often negative influences of the outside world, but I can cram them so full of good, that maybe the bad won't matter so much.
