Woe is Me Not

Last night, I stomped around for several hours and felt most mighty sorry for myself. I was busy cleaning up all the things that, in my mood, I was sure were only ever cleaned up by me. No one around this place ever does anything at all, see? I am the only one that works in this house or anywhere in the whole expanse of the entire world. EVER. So I stomped and huffed and closed drawers a little too hard and dropped laundry baskets with a little too much force and let everyone in my house know that I was annoyed. In hindsight, I realize I was being a little ridiculous, but I was tired and everything was messy and there are JUST SO MANY CHILDREN IN THIS HOUSE. Children that make messes and wear clothes and eat food and need things, and sometimes need me. Not me doing anything for them, just me sitting next to them, or looking at them with a smile on my face or listening to their story/piano song/dream/funny joke that I haven't ever heard but have probably heard a dozen times. 

Please know, I love my job. I love what I do and I love these kids and I really do know that I'm not the only one in the house that works. My kids work. My husband works. Life is good. But my mood last night was bad and I was looking at my world through "feel sorry for me" blinders. 

Allow me to wallow for a few more paragraphs. 

After I most grumpily put the kids to bed, I sat down to work on book revisions. Me and Chapter 2? We aren't getting along all that well right now. It needs to change. I know it needs to change. I think I know how I want it to change, but I just can't seem to make the words work. So even though I wrote for an hour, and this normally leaves me in a very good mood, I was STILL grumpy when I went to bed. 

My bright and sunshiny mood continued through this morning when I got in a fight with my dog. Guys, I love my dog. I really, REALLY love my dog. This morning? Oh, how that dog made me mad. See, Blue doesn't always come when you call. Most of the time, he does. But if I am holding my keys, or wearing shoes, or showing any other signs of departure readiness, HE KNOWS. He knows that me leaving means he has to stay inside alone. So, he refuses to come. He hops around the yard like it's the funniest game in the world to try and get away from me. He is not motivated by food. He is not motivated by toys. He is TOO smart to be tricked. And after today, he is permanently terrorized by the shrieking, stick wielding crazy woman that chased him around the yard throwing cheese and obscenities in every direction. 

Let's recap, shall we? Dirty house, lazy kids, cantankerous chapter, stubborn dog... by lunch time this afternoon, I was feeling fabulous. 

And then, quite suddenly in fact, I was fine. 

I talked to my sister, then talked to my husband, then read about a family where words like leukemia and chemotherapy and deductibles and refinancing and bankruptcy are elements of daily conversation. I was reminded to grow up a little and toughen up a little and recognize the GOOD that is everywhere - in my home, in my children, in stocked pantry shelves and clean bills of health. I need only look to see it. 

(But to see means taking off those silly blinders. To think I'm not actually at the center of the universe...)

I'm not sorry that I was ever grumpy. Life is like that sometimes, and we're all bound to be affected. But goodness, I'm glad my wallowing didn't last longer than 24 hours. Because really, sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself wastes a lot of energy. 

What do you do to have "see the good" kinds of days?

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This post sponsored by The Vintage Pearl, maker of lovely jewelry and supporter of Rising Star Outreach and my sweet friend Karl.